


The Archive - A Midnight Radio Program

by JessiFaymes (jesicahazel)



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:06:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25965577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesicahazel/pseuds/JessiFaymes
Summary: Just a fun little radio AU with the season one crew. Expect a lot of fluff and shenanigans, eventual JonMartin and just some good old fashioned radio.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	1. Station Situation

Jon sipped his coffee and checked his watch again. Nearly 10 p.m. Almost time for the night crew at TMA-radio to arrive, a few hours to prepare before the program started at midnight.

  
The new program director for The Archive arranged scripts on his sparse desk. Jon wasn’t sure he was exactly qualified for the position, although he’d jumped at the opportunity when Elias, the general manager of the station, asked him to leave his research job during normal daylight hours.

  
The Archive had gained somewhat of a cult following during its extensive airtime. During the day, TMA-Radio broadcast the latest breaking news, classical and cultural programs, the usual public radio offerings. But after midnight, until the morning news program started at five, strange tales of supernatural occurrences and historical anomalies captured the imaginations of a small group of dedicated listeners.

  
Jon scanned the script for the upcoming show, mostly just introductory phrases for pre-recorded statements. Live-reading some of the stories broadcast on The Archive would be... challenging to say the least.

  
“Hey sorry,” A round, flustered face appeared in the doorway. “You haven’t seen a dog, have you?”

  
Jon started, looking up from his papers at the out-of-breath stranger.

  
“I’m s- Sorry, what?”

  
“Um -” the man took a deep break and gestured as if patting something on the ground “Uh, a dog, a - a Spaniel, I think.”

  
“In- In general, or?” Jon winced internally as soon as he heard the words out loud but maintained a steady gaze over his glasses at the man who looked away almost immediately.

  
“N-n-no... in the station,” his grey eyes shifted back to meet Jon’s for a moment before glancing at the different corners of the room.

  
Great. His first day running things and already the delicate radio equipment would be destroyed by a dog on his watch. Absolutely thrilling.

  
“Why would there be a dog in the station?” Jon tried to keep his voice even but the anger leaked into his tone.

  
“Oh, ‘cause, well, I-”

  
Jon didn’t have time for this.

  
“Who are you?”

  
The stranger laughed and flushed even harder, his freckles all but disappearing in the heat of his face.

  
“Uh- M-Martin,” the nervous laughter continued “I- and cause...”

  
Jon slapped the script in his hand on the table with a satisfying thump and stood up. Martin stood a good head and a half taller than him but Jon tried his best to intimidate the stuttering explanation into making sense.

  
“I... may have...” the grey eyes desperately searched for an escape, “l-l-let him in?”

  
The soft shuddering chuckle did not amuse Jon in the slightest.

  
“What? Why?” The words made it out past his clenched jaw.

  
“Oh, heh. Well, I didn’t, I didn’t mean to; you know” Jon glared harder, willing the statement to speed up. “I uh, we were outside, making friends and then I had to come in but - um - my hands were full and you know the doors really heavy and so I had to use my foot and then he just sort of... like... got past me...?”

  
“Why were you coming into the station?” Jon put his hands on his desk and leaned forward, hoping the unwanted visitor would leave after realizing the station was only open to staff at this hour.

  
“Oh! Uh, I work here!”

  
Jon wanted to kill Elias.

  
“No you don’t,” this... Martin must be mistaken. “I requested Tim and I requested Sasha and you are neither.”

  
“Oh! Ohhhh” recognition and a fresh wave of red washed over Martin’s face. “You’re Jonathan... Sims, yeah... Um - Mr. Bouchard said I’d, I’d - be working for you.”

  
“Well, he didn’t tell me anything about it!”

  
“He, uh, well, you may not know this but... Sasha and Tim don’t really have any engineering experience,” Martin plucked at the edge of his shirt. “And well, he transferred me from transmitter maintenance so I can do night maintenance on the servers and well, I’m actually quite good at audio editing as well and this show requires a lot of well... you know... editing... and... general technical things... so...”

  
“So I’m your boss,” Jon hadn’t really thought about some of the technical aspects of The Archive. During his time on the day shift the most technically challenging task required of him involved recording voice overs and emailing them on to the next person. Martin’s presence was, he supposed, necessary.

  
“I mean,” Martin shrugged. “I guess, heh.”

  
“Which means that technically,” Jon threw out a small taunting imitation of Martin’s laugh, “I have the power to dismiss you, if this dog situation is not resolved immediately.”

  
“I mean, yeah, probably.” Jon’s eyes widened in disbelief and he leaned even further over his desk. Martin caught his pointed gaze and started upright. “Oh! Oh yes, right, sorry uh... I’ll... Sorry!”

  
Martin ran out the door toward, presumably, the dog loose in the station and turned to shout over his shoulder. “Sorry!”

  
Jon sat back in his chair slowly. He took a deep breath and worked to unclench his jaw.

  
“Well that’s....” he sighed, “not ideal.”

  
Leave it to Elias to fill the one position Jon failed to think of, however critical, with someone who seemed completely unprepared for the task. Hopefully most of Martin’s time would be filled with server maintenance and technical difficulties that did not overlap with the production of The Archives.

  
John went back to the scripts, keeping an ear out for barking or other sounds that might spell disaster. He only had about an hour and a half before going on-air.

  
Someone knocked on the door and opened it.

  
“Uh, yes, who is it? Tim yes, good.” Jon had actually worked with Tim before on a few research projects for the day-shows. Tim’s familiar face and easy going personality reassured Jon. He knew Sasha through her work, of course, everyone on the day crew wondered why she bothered with ghosts and ghouls when she had some of the best reporting skills in the industry. She could probably work for the BBC if she wanted.

  
“First day huh boss? Exciting...” Tim smiled but kept looking over his shoulder in the direction Martin had gone.

  
“Yes, well, it certainly has been so far.” Jon had a feeling he wouldn’t like what Tim said next.

  
“Haha, yeah so hypothetically... what would you say if I said there was a... Dog... situation... in the station...” Tim tapped his foot with urgency although the sentiment didn’t quite reach the smile on his face.

  
“I would ask if it was getting worse?” Jon really wanted to read the full script before his first show but the chances of that seemed less and less likely.

  
“Okay, alright,” Tim’s foot stopped tapping. “Cool, so right.”

  
“Tim.” Jon imagined his first day going so differently from this.

  
“Hypothetically-”

  
“Tim.”

  
“I - yeah, yeah, there’s a dog situation in the station,” Tim hesitated. “There’s a, there’s a mess of the... doggy variety.”

  
“Right.” Jon sighed, resigned to the literal shit show.

  
“I’m sorry,” the apology seemed half genuine and half amused.

  
“It’s not your fault.” Jon knew who had ruined his first day. “Come on, lets... lets deal with it before it escalates.”  
##


	2. Station Tour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's finally at work. Martin gets the grand tour.

Sasha opened the door to TMA-Radio and a dog, she was pretty sure it was a springer-spaniel, rushed past her into the parking lot. Shortly after Jon, Tim and Martin rounded the corner and almost followed the dog outside. Jon stopped short when he saw Sasha. His entourage stumbled to not fall over him. 

“Ah, Sasha,” Jon tried to straighten his rumpled jacket and button-up shirt, breathing heavily. “Thank you for that.” 

“Yeah Sash,” Tim said, also a bit out of breath but Sasha could see the amused glint in his eye. “Leave it to you to save the day without ever really trying.” 

“That’s my job!” Sasha closed the door behind her, “happy to be of service.” 

“Well then,” Jon fully regained his composure, “since you’re all here and we have...” He checked the watch on his wrist, “about an hour before air-time, lets get introductions out of the way and get back to work. I’m Jonathan Sims, the program director of The Archives starting tonight.” 

“Right!” Tim clapped Jon on the back, making the smaller man wince even though the hand was friendly enough. “You already know me. Tim. Your friendly neighborhood researcher and script editor.” 

“Sasha here. Saver of the day, writer of the scripts and researcher of the paranormal,” Sasha reached out to shake Jon’s hand. Her firm grasp and unwavering eye contact intimidated Jon a little. Sasha wore shoes with a slight heel so she stood a few inches taller than him, increasing the effect. “Nice to meet you...?” Sasha gave Martin an encouraging smile over Jon’s shoulder. 

“Oh! uh,” Martin still looked a bit terrified of Jon but attempted an uncertain smile back. “I’m Martin, today will also be my first day. I’ll be doing the technical... um... stuff. So if you have any equipment problems just, well, come to me I guess.” 

“Great.” Jon looked like he hadn’t really been listening to introductions, instead he kept an eye on his watch. “Now that’s done, I trust you all don’t need me to tell you how to do your jobs. However, I’ll be in the studio if that expectation proves... false.” Jon eyed Martin whose face had finally gone back to normal only to flush with fresh embarrassment. With those rallying words Jon turned and retreated back down the hall to the studio. 

“So...” Sasha’s brow furrowed as she turned to Tim, “that’s the new boss then.” 

“Told you he was a bit of a prick,” Tim reached out to pat Martin on the shoulder, who stood staring down the hallway looking a bit shell shocked. “Nice work with the dog there Martin. I haven’t seen him that riled up since... well... ever.” 

Martin let out a small agonized sound. 

“Do you think he’s... going to fire me?” Instead of flushed Martin now looked pale with worry. “I mean, I’ve messed up on first days at the job before but well, I’ve never let a dog into a radio station before. And he seemed... pretty mad.” 

“Aw, don’t worry about him,” Tim said. “He couldn’t fire you if he wanted to. Doubt there’s another qualified tech master who’d want your job to be perfectly honest.” 

Martin somehow seemed more pale than when Tim started reassuring him. 

“Well, since the boss seems too occupied for the grand tour, I guess it’s just us,” Sasha ushered Martin down the hall. “Here’s where the radio-magic happens.” 

Sasha turned and led them down a stairwell, explaining over her shoulder. 

“The Archive is actually one of the longest running radio programs in the country. When it started at about the turn of the century TMA already existed. Jonah Magnus, the original founder, started TMA to research and record supernatural occurrences. With the invention of radio about 80 years after Magnus started his research, his successor was inspired to share their knowledge over the airwaves. He built the studios in the basement. We use them as production rooms now. The rest of the station kind of got built on top of The Archive. Though, the more mainstream content brings in the fundraising dollars as of late.” 

Sasha sighed as she reached the bottom of the stairs, “Us? Well, we’re basically a national institution, but respect? A little hard to come by around here.” Sasha flicked a light switch on the wall and the basement flickered into view. 

In the room immediately at the bottom of the stairs there were four large metal office desks, each occupied their own corner of the space, which although larger than Martin expected, felt claustrophobic due to the lack of windows and the stacks of documents, tapes and other chaos that lined the walls. 

“Home sweet home,” Tim took his place at his desk and gestured to the one to his right. “You get your pick Marty-boy, do you want to sit next to me or Sasha? Fair warning, this side is the fun side of the office.” 

“Well, isn’t one of those for Jon?” Martin looked back and forth at the two desks closest to the stairs, a bit uneasy at the thought of having Jon watch him while he worked. 

“Oh no,” Sasha crossed the room and opened a door Martin hadn’t noticed before, it almost disappeared in the surrounding clutter. “To the right, that’s the program director’s office and to the left we’ve got a really pathetic and kind of gross kitchenette and bathroom.” Sasha closed the door again. 

“And the, uh, you mentioned production rooms?” Martin nervously laughed “that’s probably where I’ll be spending most of my time anyway.” 

“Right you are,” Tim spun around in his chair and pointed to another door obscured by a mountain of paper behind his desk. “Through that door, we’ve got production room A and B and dead ahead is the server closet.” 

“Thank you, I...” Martin took a deep breath and smiled without creeping uncertainty for the first time since he entered the station that evening. “I guess I’ll sit on the fun side of the room then, Tim. Sorry Sasha.” 

“Ooooh, harsh!” Tim waggled his eyebrows at Sasha who rolled her eyes back at him. 

“I’ll try not to take it too personally,” She smiled and settled into her desk, shaking the computer mouse and grabbing the headphones lying to the side. “Let me know if you need anything else, I’ll just be over here on the not fun side of the room.” 

“Ditto...” Tim also stated his computer awake, “except I’ll be on the fun side. As established.” 

“Right.” Martin sat at his new desk and looked around at his new coworkers, the cave of melange surrounding them. Even with the gloom and the overwhelming hoard of statements the room felt welcoming. 

“Right...” 

##

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That’s why I write fanfiction on company time. jkjkjk love my job. Also, sorry, I forgot that I wanted everyone’s office in the basement when I was writing the first chapter. Just pretend I said Jon was in the studio in the first chapter. What are you gonna do about it? This is fanfiction bb. If you want consistency you came to the wrong website. 
> 
> Also also, I know Sasha would be better at doing the technical stuff for the radio station but I want Martin to do that bc A) I feel like Alex would appreciate fans inflicting his own trials on Martin, especially season one martin B) I have my own reasons with ideas for future ~moments~ that need Martin to be audio editor C) this is for fun and I thought it would be fun. 
> 
> Also, also, also, if I add another chapter tomorrow maybe send help.


	3. Station Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew has a station meeting. The radio jargon truly begins.

“I’m Jonathan Sims and you’re listening to The Archive,” the familiar glow of red and green lights in the studio and the sound of his own voice echoed back through the headphones made Jon relax for the first time that night. “I’ll be replacing Gertude Robinson as your host as I’m sure she informed you before retiring. However, as I settle into my new role Gertude kindly pre-recorded some reports which I will be airing for you tonight. Up next, the statement of Yuri Atkin, regarding an incident which occurred in the village of Algasovo, central Russia.” 

Jon queued up the audio, potted down his mic and took off his headphones. He leaned back in the rolling office chair, the voice of his predecessor played over the monitor speakers. 

Clowns never particularly frightened Jon but the time of day and the relative darkness of the station gave the story a certain ambiance. 

He kept an eye on the audio clip countdown but let his mind wander. Dog situation notwithstanding Jon felt he made a pretty good first impression. Not too firm but... well, perhaps he could’ve been a bit less harsh to Martin. The mortified expression when Martin realized who Jon was brought a smirk to his face. And really, if the mistake had resulted in permanent damage to any station equipment they would both likely be out of a job by tomorrow. 

Best to err on the side of severity. It fit Jon’s personality better anyways. While he prided himself on many things, his emotional... availability had never been his strong suit. 

The details of his new position as program director also left Jon a bit lacking. He understood the general idea, record statements compiled by the researchers and broadcast them on the radio. When Elias asked him about his interest in the job Jon spouted something or other about modernizing the show. Now that he actually had the ability to do so, he didn’t have a clear idea of what that meant. 

“Hmmm,” asking Sasha and Tim their thoughts seemed reasonable enough. Although Jon’s earlier comment about everyone knowing how to do their jobs made him a bit apprehensive about coming straight out and explaining his predicament. He’d just have to be subtle, keep his head down and pretend he knew what he’s doing. 

Jon waited until he introduced and started the next segment before moving to go to the basement. He noted the time. He had about a half hour before he needed to announce the next statement. 

Jon could hear keyboards clicking away as he descended the stairs into the office. Before anyone arrived that evening he came down to stow his things and familiarize himself with the place. Grungy, overcrowded, dark and slightly musty, especially in his office, but the show would certainly never run out of material if the stacks of paper and tape were anything to go on. 

Jon cleared his throat when he reached the bottom step to announce himself. Sasha and Tim looked up, taking off their headphones. Martin was nowhere to be seen. 

“Everything running smooth topside?” Tim asked. Jon wondered if he always smiled during conversations. 

“Yes, quite smoothly thank you,” Jon said. “I assume you’re all well occupied down here. Speaking of, where is Martin?” 

“Oh, he’s staking out his domain,” Tim pointed to the door behind him. “I don’t think that server closet has been opened since I started working here...” 

“Ah, I see. Well, I would like to have a more formal meeting, discuss The Archive and my goals for the program, hear what you all have in mind. After the last segment airs at about 4:30 I’d ask that you all remain in the office for a station meeting.” 

“Sounds good to me boss,” Tim said. “We’ll make sure Martin comes it out of the closet alive.” Sasha smiled at the joke and nodded in agreement. 

“Right,” Jon shifted his weight from side to side before he made his way back up the stairs. “See you all at 4:30 then.” 

##

The rest of The Archive went well enough. Jon stumbled over the introductions a few times but that was to be expected. He queued the last audio clip along with the show's credits, made sure the news channel was potted up so the morning headlines would start promptly at 5 and made his way back to the basement. 

All three of his new coworkers sat at their desks, chatting casually. But when Jon’s footsteps on the stairs approached they quieted. 

“First show’s done then?” Sasha asked as Jon reached the office. “Everything you dreamed it would be?” 

“There have certainly been a few unexpected... surprises,” Jon made a point not to look at Martin, who blushed for the umpteenth time that night. “But all in all, I’d say it was a success. Thank you for staying a bit late, I appreciate everyone’s input regarding The Archive.” 

Jon considered sitting on the unoccupied desk nearest him, but the mental image of the self-hoisting that would require made him rethink, instead opting to stand at the bottom of the stairs. 

“While Gertude recorded enough statements to play until the end of the week, starting Monday we will need to produce enough content on our own. I’ve also been tasked with the process of modernizing the show and, if the state of this office is anything to go on... we have our work cut out for us.” 

“Yeah, has it always been this dismal down here Sasha? Or did Gertude just stop caring?” Tim asked. “She was getting pretty old toward the end there.” 

“And still sharper than you’ll ever be,” Sasha snapped, though her expression made the jest clear. “Really though, things did start getting a bit... chaotic toward the end. Not really sure why to be honest. Gertude wasn’t necessarily the most transparent of bosses.” 

“So it seems,” Jon frowned, the disarray didn’t make any sense and he didn’t feel like he had a clear path to establish order. 

“Well, aha,” Martin spoke up, though it seemed like it took great effort to do so. “If we have to start recording... uh... did you say enough content for the whole show? So, that's at least 2 hours of audio edited... by Monday... and every day afterward...” Martin started to look a little bit panicked. Tim repressed a chuckle. 

“Welcome to the audio dome!” Tim threw his hands in the air. “Only the strong of heart survive here.” 

“We should at least make a production schedule,” Sasha looked a bit concerned for Martin. She turned her attention to Jon. “I trust you can handle that, right?” 

Jon made a short sound of indignation. 

“Of course,” he didn’t have any idea how to make a production schedule. “I’ll have something prepared for you all by tomorrow.” 

“Nice, that’s sorted then... about modernization...” Tim mused. “What exactly does that mean?” 

Your guess is as good as mine, Jon thought to himself. 

“Well, I’m certainly open to suggestions,” Jon tried to sound as authoritative as possible. “Podcasts are a popular thing right now, I think...?” 

Martin looked like he was going to pass out. He made a small coughing, sputtering noise and looked at Jon with desperation. 

“I’m... I’m not really sure if you realize how much work goes into making a podcast,” Martin said shakily. “I mean, I’m happy to do whatever you need! of course!... it’s just... I’m not sure that... well, technically speaking, I don’t think that would actually be possible on top of producing the actual show and... um... I don’t mean to say that it’s a  _ bad  _ idea but...” 

“What he means to say is,” Tim interrupted, “are you trying to kill Martin on his first day? Seems a little extreme... even if he did let in a dog earlier.” 

“Fair enough,” Jon took a deep breath and tried to forget about the dog situation before his frustrations with Martin showed too clearly. Martin really did look stricken at the podcast suggestion and a bit overwhelmed at the prospect of editing over 2 hours of audio every day. “For now we justl focus on organizing the content we currently have and recording new statements. I’ll let Elias know that modernization, in whatever form it takes, may be a ways off for now.” 

“Right,” Sasha smiled, the meeting changed nothing about her day to day operations and she wondered about Jon’s motivations for calling them to talk things out. “Sounds like a solid plan to me. Now, it’s getting dangerously close to sunrise so I’m going to head home while I still have a chance to fall asleep in the dark.” 

Martin nodded mechanically and gathered his things. He stared off into space, contemplated how many hours he would spend staring at Adobe Audition for the foreseeable future and silently followed Sasha up the stairs. 

“Well, that’s quitting time for us too,” Tim stood up and stretched, looking at Jon who still stood awkwardly at the bottom of the stairs. “Unless you needed something else?” 

Jon shuffled, uncomfortable, and looked up the stairs to make sure Martin and Sasha were truly gone. He took a deep breath and momentarily humbled himself. 

“I... well... yes, actually,” Jon almost looked sheepish, but begrudgingly so. “I was wondering if you... do you... ah.” 

Jon’s nervousness amused Tim and he briefly wondered if Jon was going to ask him out for a drink or something. Tim hadn’t heard of Jon dating anyone before but it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. Plus Jon looked pretty cute when he wasn’t sure of himself, something Tim had not seen before. 

“Do you know how to make a production schedule?” Jon finally blurted out all at once. 

Tim laughed for a good minute, making Jon frown and cross his arms. 

“Geeze Jon, don’t look like that,” Tim wiped underneath his eyes as if the hilarity made him tear up. “Yeah, I can help you out, shouldn’t take us too long. Pull up a chair.” 

Jon did so, although he still looked like he regretted asking for help in the first place. In the end it didn’t take them long to work out when Sasha and Tim should have finished scripts for Jon and Martin to record and edit. By the time they started hearing the morning news crew’s footsteps upstairs the schedule was finished. 

“A very productive day at work if I do say so myself,” Tim smirked, gathering his things. “Did you enjoy your first day as the big boss?” 

“It...” Jon’s brow furrowed, “certainly had its ups and downs.” 

Tim laughed. 

“Well,” he patted Jon’s shoulder and headed for the exit, Jon followed his footsteps. “It can only get easier from here, right?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can have a littel jontim... as a treat...


	4. Station Water Cooler Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on a true story.

The next night Jon came into the station a few hours earlier than the day previous. He realized after working out the schedule with Tim what a herculean task writing, recording and producing the show would prove and he intended to take every advantage available. So he’d start coming in at 8 to get recordings done. 

The empty station buzzed with the sounds of equipment and Jon heard the quiet mumble of the scheduled music program from the studio as he made his way to the office. Dark and deserted as the place seemed, Jon already felt comfortable in the basement. 

Jon didn’t feel as comfortable with the idea of recording a half hour of voice over for each segment. The longest clip he had to record as a researcher didn’t push much over a minute and a half. This... well.. This was a bit different. 

Jon made himself a cup of coffee. The coffee maker in the kitchenette outside his office looked about as old as him, but he didn’t mind the tinny taste as long as the caffeine worked. Feeling a bit more awake, he made his way to production room A. 

Jon put on the headphones and turned on his microphone. 

“Test... Test... Test... 1, 2, 3... Right,” Jon took a deep breath, one final sip of coffee, focused all his mental energy on the statement and pressed record on the editing software. “Statement of Nathan Watts, regarding an encounter on Old Fishmarket Close, Edinburgh. Original statement given April 22nd. Recording by Jonathan Sims. Slate-ment begins- fuck!” 

Jon stopped the recording after the flub and, frustrated already, pressed delete. He took another deep breath, another sip of coffee, and tried again. He made it a bit further down the page this time but ultimately choked on his own saliva a little. He forcefully clicked pause and deleted the track, an angry noise escaping him and echoing back through the mic. 

  
This cycle repeated itself a few more times and Jon started to feel more desperate with each deleted file. How had Gertude managed? 

He checked his watch. A full hour had passed and he had nothing to show for his efforts except an empty coffee cup and a slight headache. Jon sighed and turned off the microphone, standing up to go get a second cup. 

When he opened the door to production room A, Jon saw a pair of legs stretching out from the open door to his left. Martin’s bottom half filled most of the small hallway, his head inside the server closet like a mechanic. The position made Martin’s shirt ride up a little and Jon found his eyes wandered to the exposed skin above the waistline of Martin’s jeans. Ginger fuzz intermingled with stretch marks that disappeared under denim pants and a cotton shirt. Jon tried to look away but found himself incapable of controlling his own gaze, inexplicably hungry eyes drawn back to the inviting sight. 

Jon didn’t have to struggle for long. As soon as Martin heard the door open he jumped a bit and sat up, making a small squeak. 

“Oh! Jon, you surprised me,” Martin looked up at Jon from the ground and pointed behind him toward a very cobweb covered stack of blinking machines and threw out a nervous laugh. “Heh, I wanted to get a good start on these... they’re a bit... well they’re awful. Kind of a miracle they’re working at all actually.” 

“Yes, well,” Jon twisted the coffee cup in his hands, still mentally off balance due to Martin’s vulnerable position on the floor. “Just... try to keep them that way I suppose... working... I- I mean.” 

“I’ll do my best,” Martin smiled and gestured to the mug in Jon’s hand. “Are you making tea?” 

“Oh, coffee actually, although the coffee maker seems like an original installation,” Jon frowned at his empty cup. “However, caffeine seems to be necessary for these working hours.” 

“Well, if it’s just caffeine you’re after,” Martin shifted his weight and got to his feet, “I can make you a cup of tea, I was about to go make one for myself so it’s no trouble.” 

Martin reached for Jon’s mug and although the shorter man didn’t particularly like tea he handed it over reflexively. 

Jon cleared his throat and got over his momentary distraction. 

“Thank you Martin,” Jon opened the door behind him and backed into the production room. “I’ll just be in here... rehearsing this script.” 

Martin could see the computer screen behind Jon, the open editing software devoid of any wave forms. Strange... Martin knew he saw the “on-air” sign above the door illuminated for most of the past hour. He didn’t have time to think much about it before Jon closed the door. 

He certainly is a bristly little man, Martin thought.

Martin had made up his mind after getting home on his first day. He would try his hardest to make up for the dog situation. Jon may hate him now, but... well Martin wasn’t actually sure he could change his new boss’s mind about that, but he could damn well try. 

“Oh, good morning Sasha, Tim” the two were leaned over Sasha’s desk, studying whatever lit up the screen. “Heh, I mean, good night... although that does sound a bit weird doesn’t it?” 

“Good evening, Martin,” Sasha gently teased. “I think that’s the phrase you’re looking for.” 

“Yeah, if he was a vampire!” Tim scoffed. “I think you’re the only one here who can pull off a-” Tim screwed up his face and did a false posh accent “good evening.” 

“That rather sounded like Jon,” Sasha said, one eyebrow raised. 

“See?” Tim returned to his normal speaking voice. “Sounds absolutely ridiculous coming from either of us.” 

Martin envied how Sasha and Tim got along, teasing and joking with each other. They made it look so easy. 

“Do either of you want a cup of tea?” Martin asked. “I’m about to make some for Jon and me.” 

Both nodded an affirmative and said thanks, turning their attention back to the computer monitor. 

The kitchenette had a water bubbler equipped with a hot water dispenser, but when Martin went to fill the first mug he noticed a black spot right at his eye level. Upon further inspection, small black circles spotted the inside of the water jug. Martin shuddered, noting the lowered water level and felt grateful he brought his own water yesterday. 

Martin went back into the office empty handed. 

“So... I think there’s mould in the water bubbler?” 

“What?” Sasha and Tim’s alarm was apparent. They looked at each other, concerned, they both used that water bubbler multiple times a day. How hadn’t they noticed earlier? 

“Yeah... I’m not sure... but” Martin grimaced, “it’s pretty gross.” 

##

Soon all four of them stood around the water cooler and each confirmed the existence of some kind of mould inside the bottle. 

“It’s already half empty,” Sasha near-wailed. She looked nauseous. 

“Or half full, depending on how you look at things.” Tim didn’t put much enthusiasm behind the joke, also fairly shaken by the knowledge of what he’d been drinking for who knows how long. 

“Good lord,” Jon didn’t seem impressed. “You would think Gertrude wouldn’t let things like basic sanitation slip, but here we are.” 

Martin spoke up in the same hesitant tone that tainted all his words to Jon so far. 

“I don’t know if that's... fair,” he pointed to the refill bottles to the side of the bubbler. “It, uh, looks like the others are clean... so, I, uh...” 

Before Martin could finish his full thought Jon pulled up his sleeves and stepped toward the moulded bottle. 

“Well then, this should be an easy fix in that case,” Jon grasped the container, ready to sort this mess out and send everyone back to work. 

“Wait!-” Martin tried to stop him, but it was too late. 

When Jon pulled the half full bottle upward a wave of musty water came flowing from the top of the bubbler. Jon was completely drenched. He froze, the bottle in his hands making a loud glug-glug-glug noise as the last of the water spilled. 

Jon didn’t want to turn around and face his coworkers. He could already hear Tim and Sasha as they suppressed howls of laughter, a battle they would surely lose. 

“Oh Jon...” Martin sounded worried as a mother hen. 

“Don’t.” Jon put the bottle back in its original position and held a hand up to quiet whatever comforting words might have come next. 

Sasha and Tim were almost bursting, grasping at each other's arm in an attempt to stop the rolling laughter. Sasha put her hand up to her mouth to try and contain herself. She no longer cared about drinking mould, it had been worth it. 

Jon stormed away, leaving the mess and slamming the door to his office behind him. 

As soon as the door closed Sasha and Tim lost all control. Both doubled over in fits of guffaws. Random phrases specked their convulsions like a mouldy water cooler, “oh my god” and “what a madman.” 

Martin quietly chuckled along with them, although he did still feel bad for Jon. But eventually he chastened their uproar, which Jon could certainly still hear in his office. 

“Guys, come on, help me clean this up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the water cooler at my work had mold in it today. I found it and showed my boss and we are both smarter than Jon so we did NOT take the bottle out. But it made me think about what would happen if we had. Now anything bad that happens at work is just another opportunity for fanfiction plot. 
> 
> Also, to be clear, everyone is safe in this fanfiction. There are no entities in this AU and you don't have to worry about any characters dying. It's ~escapism~ at it's finest. The mold is normal mold. The cobwebs are normal cobwebs. 
> 
> Also also, next chapter Jon has to find a dry set of clothes and you won't want to miss what the crew rustles up for him >:)


	5. Station Merch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's a wet ass program director to do?

Jon shivered in his office. 

_It can only get easier from here, Tim said,_ Jon thought in a mocking voice. 

Jon knew he only had himself to blame for his agonies that night but that did not improve his mood in the slightest. He checked his watch. 9:30. He had plenty of time to get ready for the show but not nearly enough to make it back to his flat to get a dry set of clothes. 

Someone knocked on the door. 

“Yes?” Jon tried to retain an air of authority even as his jacket dripped musty water onto the floor. “Ah, Sasha...” Jon didn’t exactly know what more to say and the colder he got the more ridiculous he felt. 

Sasha had a small bundle of clothes in her hands. 

“Hey Jon,” Sasha said, holding out the bundle. “I figured you probably didn’t have a change of clothes so I found these for you. Back in the 80’s The Archive was actually pretty popular and well, we had some merchandise made...” 

Jon took the clothes with great trepidation. 

He inhaled sharply when he saw the pair of red athletic shorts and the cropped sweatshirt. The gray sweatshirt would have been fine if it hadn’t been cropped. It had a small icon of a green owl on the top right hand side and the words “Vigilo-Opperior-Audio.” The shorts had white piping along the edges in the typical 80s style and lettering on the backside that read “Property of The Archive.” Completely unacceptable. 

“I-” Jon stared at the clothes in disbelief. “I don’t think these are exactly, well, work appropriate...” 

Sasha did a very good job at keeping a straight face, but deep in her eyes glittered something mischievous. 

“Sorry Jon... If you want, I can take over the show for you for today and you can head home for the night.” 

“No, no...” Jon couldn’t fathom leaving work early. Especially on his second day. “I’ll just have to... well...” Jon took a deep breath. “Thank you for the clothes Sasha.” 

Jon braced himself mentally and went to the bathroom to change. 

##

“How’d it go?” Tim asked when Sasha came back into the office. She had remembered the old merchandise and after a few minutes of rummaging through dusty boxes Sasha pulled out the most ridiculous clothes any of them had ever seen. 

“As well as can be expected I suppose,” Sasha sat back down at her desk, shaking her head slowly. “Just prepare yourselves boys...” 

Tim and Martin nodded solemnly. All three were determined to not laugh at the outfit. Jon had already been through enough in the past 48 hours and they didn’t want to break the man’s spirits. 

When Jon opened the door to the main office Tim and Sasha pretended to be engrossed in their work. Martin tried but he simply could not look away. 

Jon actually looked pretty good in the outfit. Uncomfortable to the extreme... but for some reason the athletic wear made him look younger even with his graying hair. His dark skin contrasted with the red of the shorts and the gray sweatshirt revealed just a sliver of abdomen. 

“Oh!” Martin could not suppress his small exclamation and started to stutter and blush. “Um... you look...” 

Jon glared and pulled on the hem the cropped top. 

“Well, you- you look nice...” Jon grimaced and Martin stumbled over his words to recover. Sasha and Tim could do nothing but stare at their computer screens, expressions rigid with effort to control their emotions. “I mean! You look a bit ch- chilly though... and um.. The studio is a bit cold so... well...” 

Martin finally looked away and shrugged off his sweatshirt. His face burned as he held it out and Jon took it gratefully. The studio was cold and he felt so exposed. Jon put on Martin’s sweatshirt, an over-sized black hoodie, and zipped it over the horrifying outfit. It was long enough to cover more of his legs than the shorts, in fact, it almost reached his knees. Jon still felt ridiculous but the sweatshirt was warm from Martin’s body heat and smelled of laundry detergent and something slightly spiced, maybe some kind of tea. He felt slightly more at ease. 

“Thank you, Martin.” Both of them stood blushing, not looking each other in the eye. Sasha and Tim exchanged meaningful looks, telepathically trying to communicate their thoughts and slowly losing control over their facial expressions. 

Jon cleared his throat and checked his watch. 

“Now I think that’s quite enough excitement for one day and we can all get back to work.” Jon said. “We still have a few hours until air-time, I’ll be recording some statements if anyone needs me.” 

Jon walked stiffly to the door behind Tim’s desk and disappeared behind it. Martin nearly collapsed back into his chair, his eyes unfocused and face almost as red as Jon’s shorts. 

_Uh oh,_ Martin thought to himself. _That was... unexpected... I hope this doesn’t awaken something in me._

## 

* * *

**SLACK CHAT LOG**

**Direct message to Tim...**

**Sasha** : Did you get a picture? 

**Tim** : You know I’m the finest paparazzo in all of Bromley. 

IMG.80sFashionBlackmail.png 

**Sasha** : Bless you Tim. This cursed image is invaluable to me. In troubling times I can just think, remember Jon’s second day of work. 

**Tim** : I want to send it to Martin but I’m worried he’d have an aneurysm. I don’t think he got a good look at the lettering on the back. It might kill him if his reaction to the front is anything to go on. 

**Sasha** : Poor Martin.... 

**Tim** : Poor Martin indeed... 

* * *

The rest of the day passed without another incredibly embarrassing incident. Jon managed to record half of a statement before he needed to go upstairs to start the show. Not great, considering how much time it took him to record, but it was a start. He sent the file to Martin and went to the studio. 

The small air conditioned room on the first floor made Jon grateful for Martin's sweatshirt. In between segments he curled his exposed legs up to his chest and shoved them under the soft black fabric. 

Jon breathed in the comforting smell deeply. What was he doing? Why did he simultaneously feel very annoyed and... very... safe... when he thought about Martin? Jon tried to focus on his feelings of irritation, those at least he understood. 

_Although_ , Jon thought to himself, _past letting the dog in, which, granted, was monumentally stupid, Martin has so far seemed... at very least competent_

Jon’s mind wandered to the sight of Martin fixing the server closet, laying on his back, then sitting on the ground smiling up at him. 

He shook his head to dispel the image and took a deep exasperated breath that only filled his senses with the homey smell of Martin. 

Jon frowned, his brow furrowed. 

_Good lord, I hope this doesn’t awaken something in me..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “ceaseless listener, turn your dial to this radio program.” Inspired by those damn shorts that have been making the rounds on Tumblr.


End file.
